I’m not smart enough to work in Information Technology, but I like to sound like I could be. Hence, I try to use a lot of I.T. lingo in common parlance. This is when I sometimes make myself blush...because some I.T. terms sound strangely obscene to me. So I’ve compiled a list of 12 offensive-sounding I.T. terms that are actually relatively harmless. Have I missed anything?
Of course IP stands for Internet Protocol, but when you just say the two letters out loud, it sounds like you’re telling everyone what you’re doing in the bathroom, which might be “T.M.I.”
MFT is “Managed File Transfer,” a way of sending data securely between companies. But I could see how this term could be mistaken for one you would use to heatedly insult someone (and their mother).
“As-a-Service” solutions are all the rage these days. Software-as-a-service, platform-as-a-service, and infrastructure-as-a-service are all different flavors of cloud computing. The trouble is, people are shortening “as-a-Service” to “aaS,” and pronouncing it, “ass.” The trouble with “ass” is...it doesn’t just mean donkey.
“Dirty cache” refers to data that is not yet modified in main memory, so it’s at risk of loss if mishandled. But the term could easily be uttered in a sentence about money laundering, too. Just sayin’.
Whenever I hear this term, I have a Beavis-and-Butthead moment. As in, I want to chortle, “Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh, he said, ‘penetration.’” But juvenile tendencies aside, it does evoke something a lot less innocent than hiring a white hat hacker to try to break into your company to expose security vulnerabilities.
This is a spamming technique that uses spoofed sender data to send out unsolicited emails. But it sounds like...something else entirely.
This is an offensive-sounding term because...well, it IS used offensively. It’s a derogatory oversimplification of a programmer’s skill set...used the way people would use “server hugger” to describe someone who manages I.T. infrastructure. Not nice!
In the days when I used to work in storage tech, this term was thrown around a lot. SCSI stands for “small computer system interface,” but is pronounced, “Scuzzy.” That was a term I heard in high school used to describe classmates who existed in a permanently unwashed state of being. Not exactly a flattering adjective.
Don’t get me wrong, peer-to-peer networking might be a great idea. But it also sounds like a surefire way to catch something you don’t want.
Apparently, you can “finger” a username on a networked system to find out their full name, most recent time of login, idle time, the time they last read their mail, and more. You actually type in, “finger firstname.lastname@example.org” at a Unix prompt to activate this program. Seriously, whoever came up with this command had a pretty dirty mind.
I don’t understand why connectors or fasteners have to have a “gender,” or why their gender, if they have to be given one, is based upon similarities to certain anatomical parts. But I guess if I plugged cables into each other all day long, I’d find a titillating way to describe them too.
“WHOA!” That was my first reaction upon hearing this term. But it turned out to just be a small hardware device that connects to a computer, and if you have a Mac, you pretty much need one every time you connect to a projector. But judging from the look I got when I once went up to a co-worker and asked to borrow his dongle, it might be beneficial to ascertain that the person you’re asking knows exactly what you’re asking for...before he gets you written up by HR.
For more IT humor, check out: